Individually take a piece a paper and write down the names of four different couples that you both know reasonably well. Next write down four different couples that you both know but are not as familiar with;
Individually place the names in three headings of good, bad and fair relationships;
Now tell each other why you placed the couples under those headings. Describe what you feel about those relationships and what you have observed about them.
This could include how you experience their communication styles, how they share parenting duties, the manner of support they give to each other and how they handle differences;
Next compare your marriage to what you have identified in these other relationships;
Then list the areas in your relationship that need improvement. Here hypothesize what the likely outcome would be should either of you not participate in the identified changes.
Then discuss the likely outcomes and relationship possibilities should you both embrace the changes identified;
Now discuss the various ways you, as individuals have handled past difficult times and situations. Tell each other what they did that was helpful and unhelpful during those difficult times;
Discuss how you want the relationship to be from now on, how you want your partner to be, identify relationship goals, hopes and dreams;
Finally, make an agreement with each other to commit to developing the kind of relationship to which you both aspire.