How do I talk to my partner about coming to counselling' 

This is the perennial question and it is the same for men and women alike.

You and your partner have arrived at a place where you may not be communicating well. Being able to agree on the method for resolving what's going on is becoming remote.

Each of you may have a different view of the problem, one person may not even realise there is a problem. So how do you talk about counselling when this is the case'

" Your partner may put barriers in the way"

The other person must understand absolutely that relationships need a team approach: if it's not good for one of you it's not good for both. The relationship will only be good when both of you are happy. The most important thing to do is to refrain from attacking and blaming. This may be more difficult than choosing the actual words that need to be said. 

Your timing is crucial. Don't start this sort of discussion before going to bed or late in the evening for instance and avoid the discussion just as your partner arrives home. Your partner must not feel hassled or trapped. Finding a neutral environment like a park or beach that gives you both a feeling of openness may be better for some people. Take care to ensure your discussion cannot be overheard.

You will need to choose you own words, but the simple points below will help guide you. Think of the person you love when you choose your words.

If you believe in the possibility of change that counselling can offer then your sincerity and belief will be evident.

1. Own the problem, own the solution. This is very important. You need to find a way to 'own' the desire to find a solution and show it.
2. Use 'I' statements.
3. Listen to your partner, to their concerns
4. Don't get into a huge discussion; just try to reach a point of consensus on the method of resolving the issues.
5. Commit to do what has been agreed upon, make the appointment ASAP.