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Intimacy: Everybody wants it, not everyone can achieve It.          


Everybody wants it, not everyone can achieve it. The desire to express and experience intimacy is a natural human trait, yet many relationships are starved of this at different times throughout the relationship.


Some couples experience a lack of intimacy after a short time together. The sad reality is that many couples do not know how to reclaim this valuable aspect to their relationship.



When couples first come together intimacy is typically sensational and each person carries the expectation that it will last forever.


" Intimacy is something we learn as we go."

Expressing and experiencing intimacy takes many shapes and forms, but the real challenge is finding a way to establish intimacy as a primary and ongoing characteristic of the relationship.


Relationships required work


Few couples realise that great relationships come 'dressed-up in overalls and look like work'. Intimacy is something we learn as we go and people are likely to make mistakes in the process. The lessons of intimacy begin in our formative years, our first teachers were our parents. 


If you were to inquire of others whether they desire the same relationship as that of their parents, few people would say yes. The rest is learnt from what we observe and experience from society.


Problems with intimacy arise when it is used as a form of equity transaction where a give and take mentality operates. This approach almost guarantees they will never reach a deep level of intimacy with each other.


How to find intimacy


To be truly intimate with another, one must freely give of themselves at a deep level, it is a time of exposing your core self to join with another. 


This is a time where both people openly bare their heart and soul to the other, and a time of total acceptance by another for who you are right now.



" A deeper relationship is formed."

When a couple become authentically intimate, an emotional fusion is created and a deeper relationship is formed. The way to achieve this level of intimacy is that one must know themselves.


Knowing oneself has long been recognized as one of the most difficult tasks for any person to arrive at.


People need closeness similar to other basic human needs such as food, water and shelter. This is not a need specific to a single age or cultural group, but is a need across all aspects of our lives. Without intimacy we suffer greatly and our suffering occurs in isolation. See To do list for a Good Relationship




Copyright Humaneed 2013